Sometimes life passes you by and you realise you are no closer to the goals you set out to accomplish. How about a push in the right direction from your friends here at Offblak? We want to give you 10 ways to start regaining control of your life.
1| FAKE IT TILL YOU MAKE IT
The first step to being bold is pretending that you are. This way, you are able to put yourself in a bold mindset. Try taking inspiration from people you know who are like this, or someone from a TV show you watch, or even someone from a book you read! Can you say, Brooklyn Nine-Nine’s Jake Peralta?
2| DON’T JUST TALK THE TALK, WALK THE WALK
Many people think that being bold comes mainly from the words you say and the ways you say them. Actually, boldness or confidence comes from an inner place which then exuberates through every part of your body. This is what we call vibes. Go on, give off those confident vibes. If you are feeling super adventurous and have found yourself a private space with a mirror, why not try Legally Blonde’s Bend and Snap? Or why not try getting into a boxing stance and watch how powerful and confident your body already feels simply being in either of these positions - let this translate from mind to body and body to mind.
3| STOP COM-PA-RING YOUR-SELF
We always tell children that they are unique and they should never wish to be like anyone else. As adults, why do we find ourselves progressing back to comparing ourselves? Sure, you may think it is a way to motivate yourself but actually, you are diminishing your self-confidence. You are always guaranteed to feel worse about yourself. This is because you are comparing at an unfair advantage for the comparee. Let us elaborate:
- You are comparing weaknesses to their strengths
- You are comparing how you feel on the inside to the image people are projecting outside
- You could be comparing your limited experience on something to someone who is doing it better because they have been doing it for longer.
4| TAKE INITIATIVE
Sometimes we feel like we are not supposed to do something unless we are given a sign or a reason. To heck with that. In these kinds of situations, actions come before words. A few examples of how you can take the initiative in the different parts of your life are as follows:
- Work Life - ask for that tool you need to do your job more effectively, say no to something that you know is not a good use of your time, start working on that project you think will be a huge success
- Home Life - Begin that tough conversation. Apologise for your errors. If there is something you want, just ask.
- Social Life - ask that acquaintance to go for a drink after work, go to that party even though you do not know anyone, start a conversation with that coworker with whom you have never spoken.
5| TIME TO JAM
While having a jam sandwich may feel good, having a jam session is even better. Not only does dancing make for a good break, but it also gives a glow of confidence that will help you take back control of your life and goals. What are you waiting for? Pump up the volume.
6| CHANGE UP YOUR PRIORITIES
Sometimes when we assign the same amount of importance to everything, we find it hard to fight for the things that we truly want. Make a list of everything important to you. Then, assign numbers to each point, starting with 1, being the most important. Now, you can make more decisions based on your top 5 priorities. It may be best to put this list in your Notes on your phone, so you glance back at them whenever you are starting to feel bogged down.
7| CRACK A JOKE
It always feels great when you make a great joke and your group of friends erupt with laughter, right? Well, there is a second benefit to this; when you make jokes, you also laugh (if you don’t find your joke funny, why would you make it in the first place?), which lifts your mood and allows you to feel confident. Humour is, therefore, a great way to discover your confidence and exuberate it. Try boosting your confidence by thinking about something you find funny and re-telling that story to one of your co-workers to make them lol.
8| DON’T HATE THE FAIL
We are familiar with the phrase “don’t let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game” from A Cinderella Story (*read in Hillary Duff’s voice). Well, fear of failure should not come into play when you are considering doing something. According to psychologists, failure is a key player in determining success. Failure is the ultimate test of your perseverance. By falling down and getting back up, you exercise your perseverance muscle, which means you become more effective at succeeding at other things. By embracing failure, you ultimately help improve yourself, which gives you a confidence boost!
9| POSITIVES, NEGATIVES & OTHER INTEGERS
In order to allow your inner boldness to protrude, you first have to deal with all those positives and negatives floating around in your mind.
Make a list with two columns, where the left has negatives and the right, positives.
All negative thoughts include:
- Negative comments from people
- Negative impressions you think people have about you
- Negative thoughts you have about yourself
All positive thoughts include:
- Positive comments from people
- Positive impressions you think people have about you
- Positive thoughts you have about yourself
Now, take a look at the negatives. Do you think any of these are defining factors? Do you think you should improve on one of those points? If it is untrue or not defining of you and you are happy to disregard it, cross it out. If you believe there is some truth to it and you wish to work on it, go to your positive column and write the positive way in which you will improve this aspect. An example of this is (negative) “moody”. The positive translation would become “thinking logically through my emotions before acting”.
Now that you have created your self-improvement cheat sheet, you can confidently catwalk through life.
10| WHO ARE YOU, ANYWAY?
The reason why you might be feeling less than bold is that you have defined yourself as a person who is not bold. Considering you are reading this blog post about becoming bolder, maybe it is time to rediscover yourself. Appreciate your uniqueness and allow yourself to experiment. Try doing new things and see how you feel. It could turn out that you are naturally more bold than you could imagine!